Salmon Walkshorts. The New Black.

I must have sold about 10 million tickets to Future Music to not quite buffed but trying super hard by wearing clothes that would barely fit an infant bellends in the weeks leading up to said festival. But one common trend I did notice, (other than the only ink on their bodies were some illegible name written in shitty script on their neck) and maybe it's the hater in me, or maybe it's because while I was selling tickets to these assholes one of them lifted a shitload (and by shitload I mean in the hundreds of dollars worth, while some fucktard got in my face and gave me attitude because I needed to take his name for the ticket he wanted. Dickhead) of amazing hip-hop vinyl from the shop that my keen sense of awareness became heightened was that they all were wearing the exact same shorts. Exact. Same. Shorts. Not even proper Dickies length shorts. Short Salmon coloured shorts, leading me to believe that these people were not the brainless Homosapians they were posing as but were in fact Lemmings. Not the made up computer game characters we all know and love that are able to work together by using actual brainpower and problem solving skills, but actual Lemmings. See the cute picture attatched if you're not sure what I am talking about. Not quite as harmless as we all thought eh? Take my word for it, The Lemmings are taking over and we are all fucking doomed. So next time you are at a Skrillex show in your Napalm Death cut-off and cargo shorts and all of a sudden notice you are surrounded by trendy Henley's low cut singlets, salmon coloured walkshorts and COUNTLESS boatshoes, just know that your time is coming to an end.