"Music is an art form, and I always thought art was beyond censorship" says Varg Vikernes.
Well, fair play to you Varg. Wow, this album has been a while coming, and countless Black Metal fans, have been sweating like rapists awaiting it's release, i'm sure.
Thing is, i never really liked Black Metal.. Sure the odd album or 2, for example, Immortal's Sons of Northern Darkness always manages to knock my cock in my wash-pocket...Actually, that's the only Black Metal album i enjoy to be honest, but after 11 years, a murder, some jail time, an escape from jail, then some more jail time when you get yourself recaptured, i figured i owed it to myself to check the latest offering from Varg and his band, which consists of Varg, out.
Even though Black Metal isn't really my thing, i must say it has always interested me, and upon reading "Lords Of Chaos" a couple times i have come to the conclusion that everyone in that scene really need a swift kick in the teeth.
Firstly, your corpse pain is about as scary as Peter Criss wearing a Hawaiian shirt, and secondly, you're music isn't even heavy, so i have no idea why it's not just called "Black". In fact i might start a petition to get the word "Metal" omitted from the term "Black Metal" altogether. Go whack on Slippery When Wet if you want to hear a cracking good "Metal" album.
Anyway, to the album at hand. I think i'll break it down bit by bit, so it's easier to differentiate the what i liked and/or didn't like on the album. I'd heard bits and pieces of Burzum, and i always thought it was utter shite, and this album didn't disappoint on that front.
12 seconds in and i already regretted my decision to investigate it, but on i went.
I never thought anyone could ever top the stellar guitar work ( and capture such a magical guitar tone) of U2's guitar hero, "The Edge".
Boy was I in for a treat upon hearing Belus. It's like he decided to go for the "cat being raped with barbed wire" tone on this album, and, fuck me in the ass did he pull it off! Not only did he get the tone spot on, he went for the "give em' what they want, and what i think they want is repetitive riff after riff that doesn't really peak or climax, or do much of anything". Yep, he nailed it to a T.
On to the drums. Picture, if you will, sitting in one of those round, tin Garbage bins that Pro Wrestlers beat the shit out of each other with, with the smallest, out of tune drumkit in the world, and you are half way to getting the sound Varg gets on Belus. With the technology available to us in the most basic home studios these days, i'm not sure how he managed to get such a dire sound, but again, nailed it.
Finally, to the singing. I'm not going to lie, if someone being held under water while being smothered by a pillow is your bag, then, Varg pulled out all the stops for you. He created that effect perfectly and i honestly have no idea what the fuck he is singing about.
So, going by what little knowledge i have of "BLACK", it seems to make a good "BLACK" album you need shitty production, shitty guitar sounds, shitty songs, in-audible vocals, actually, lets not beat around the bush, shitty everything. If that's the case, then Varg has sure as shit stumbled upon another masterpiece.
The bottom line: if you like everything i have just described in your music, then you'll be all over this.
If you have ears that REMOTELY work, you'll want to avoid this motherfucker like the plague.
Snap!
ReplyDelete